Month: January 2015

The Final Straw

“…He hid his eyes underneath a cap that casted a shadow on his face, but I could see the outlines of his lips slouch, then curled up into a scowl. He began to sweat more and more, and despite the veins perforating the linings of his arms and legs, he grew weaker and weaker by the moment. Eventually guilt, anger, frustration, something made him turn away. He trudged on; his fingers paled as he tightened his grip on the racket. He looked as though he had put his whole body into a perplexed expression in an attempt to extinguish the whisper deep inside of him that had almost convinced him to wander over to me. In the swift moment that the whisper simmered, I thought there were strings attached to his feet, for all of a sudden, the blankness of his mind caused him to detach from all things physical and uncertainty lingered in his unguided movements. But he then burned away the whispers and tore all ties. The narrowed eyes, tensed arms, and wry glare returned. He continued down the path he chose to take and never looked back. Somewhere, a faint mutter of “Love!” filled the air.”


When I write…

     In my English class, we have written different types of essays, such as narrative, descriptive, definition, and example. I believe my best work from this semester was my example essay.

     This essay represents my best work because I was able to include enough details to express my feelings for the experiences and joy I gained from tennis. My strength as a writer is I make sure my sentences flow and my choice of words are cleverly put together. I also try to add a personal touch to draw closer the connection between the reader and the writer. My next goal is to try to use a style that matches its content. I would like to improve on being able to explain my purpose more effectively because I usually have a good idea of what I’d like my main focus to be, but I always take a long time trying to find the right words. Sometimes I rewrite my sentences three to four times and because of the time restraints on the writing exams, I would like to be able to think on the spot and effectively establish my ideas through a single draft.

The writing instructions in class that have helped me are the essays we usually read before writing our own narrative, descriptive, and example essays. I thought they gave us a good idea of what we should be using or including. When I proofread my essays, I am not always able to determine what exactly needs to be changed. With the peer reviews, I received constructive criticisms that helped me specifically pinpoint which parts I should focus on revising.

To me, I think the traditional structure of an essay is too rigid because it prevents the writer from thinking out of the box. However, that has never been the case in my English class. I have increasingly enjoyed writing because I was always encouraged to be creative. I remember my teacher, Mr. Ziebarth, telling the class, “essays do not always have to be formally written” because often times, students use big words that actually make no sense and it takes away the narrative/personal aspect. We were told to write in whichever style we prefer; each person has a different style that best fits them. If they can find it, writing would be much more pleasurable and comfortable.

What makes a good essay? 

1. Focus: establish one main topic (thesis)

2. Different arguments and pieces of evidence should all support the main idea

(Evidence can be personal experience, details, facts, statistics, and reasons)

3. A good essay is interesting 

-Has interesting things to say

-Has an interesting way of describing something uninteresting

4. The writer’s personality is imprinted onto it.

Personality and uniqueness is expressed. Forget formality.

6. Use a style that matches its content

7. Put things into perspective

8. Use literary devices, concrete details, appeals to pathos, logos, and ethos

9. Follow SOAPSTone

10. Just have an enjoyable time writing!